Embracing the Chaos

A girlfriend recently asked my how I am liking motherhood. Well, I absolutely love it. If you read my blog you know how smitten I am with my daughter. She ROCKS my world...in many ways. The thing is, I would be lying if I said that mommyhood always brings out the best in me. There are many moments that I don't recognize myself. At times I am really tired of hearing the sound of my own voice...can anybody relate? And if I am being brutally honest, there are moments I don't really like me either.

When I got pregnant I had no idea just how much this gig was going to stretch me. So Laurel, to answer your question I will quote your eloquent words - "...motherhood is more like a symphony of chaos and low notes punctuated with highlights of brightness." It is not an occupation or a vocation. It is a calling. And one that humbles and challenges and uplifts and amuses me to the very core. There are feelings of conviction and frequent prayers. But I laugh more than ever and I am looking at life with fresh perspective...through the eyes of my child. It is an amazing journey.

At the end of the day, when there's a kiddy show theme song stuck in my head, and I smell kind of weird, toys have exploded throughout the house, and there is blue play dough under my nails, I wouldn't swap lives with anyone for the world. Sure, my laundry room resonates a locker room stench while that ring in the toilet continues to taunt me, and we are all having chicken dinosaur nuggets for dinner...but I just can't imagine being anywhere but here. Because my life is so darn wonderful. I am truly blessed and thankfully, there is an abundance of grace!

Sparkler Fun

It is not an exaggeration to say that people in Hawaii are totally obsessed with fireworks. Any excuse to set them off is welcome. In fact, we hear random explosions coming from a neighborhood a few blocks behind our community just about every other day. New Year's Eve here is like the Fourth of July. The legal, and not so legal lights in the sky start up just before sunset and last till after midnight. The air is so incredibly thick and smokey and it literally sounds like an old war film.

Phoebe was so enthralled (and somewhat frightened) and just had to join in the fun. She loves to do sparklers with her daddy. Here are a few highlights from her very exciting New Year's Eve celebration. For the first time in several years Xee and I both managed to last till midnight. We took turns popping over to a friend's to wish our neighbors well, since Phoebe was asleep by nine o'clock. Then we enjoyed a fantastic fireworks display at midnight in our jammies from our upstairs lanai, where we toasted some fine sparkling cider and then headed off to bed.

Happy New Year

Here's to a new year - May we all do better...be better...offer kindness to one another. May we learn to walk in love. Cheers!

Christmas Cookie High

Visions of Sugarplums...& Giant Origami?

Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her King. Let every heart prepare Him room, and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and heaven and nature sing!

It's the Little Things

When Xee took a five day trip to Phoenix last month I gave him a "quest" of sorts. I told him to bring something back for me. "Something that shows you know me," I told him. You see, for a few years Xee travelled quite a bit and he often came home with little things here and there that he purchased because he was thinkin' about me. They didn't always suit my fancy and they often didn't fit, but he was thinking about me. So when he came home from his trip, unpacked his bag in front of me and there was no indication that anything new had made it's way into his luggage, I wondered.

That night after Phoebe went to bed he pulled out his laptop and told me to listen. He had downloaded a song he heard while driving around in Phoenix. Maybe you've heard it. Remember When by Alan Jackson. A simple gift reminiscent of our inseparable days of courtship when every song brought one another to mind, when the world around us seemed to fade into the background of this exciting new love between us. A very thoughtful gesture from my husband.

This morning I hurried Phoebe out the door and grabbed the iPod Shuffle, ready for a workout. I put the headphones in, turned it on, and there it was. The song. Knowing I would grab the iPod for my exercise ritual at the beach, Xee had added it to the playlist and set it up as the next to play. I smiled as I listened to the words and realized that parts of this song don't apply to us yet. And in this lies the promise that one day they will. We still have so much to experience in this life together. Does he know me? Yeah....I think he does.

Let There Be Light

So we are feeling a bit silly about our little light fiasco. It was our first time hanging outside lights and since the perimiter of our home isn't very long, it didn't occur to us that we needed to use a second extension cord and outlet. In our defense, it was late and in our usual brain-fried state at the end of the day, we did not consider that is was simply...a blown fuse. Thank you Silvia, for pointing that one out!

And I think it wasn't really the lights that made me grumpy. It was likely the disappointing news that Xee was not able to get time off work so for the first time in ten years, we will not be spending Christmas with our family in Fresno. Thankfully there is Skype and so we will be with them via computer cam. It will give us the chance to build our own family traditions here at home, just the three of us. Indeed it will be different, but the joy of Christmas remains. Because it is not about the lights, or the tree or tradition, and though we love our family, it isn't about them either. It is about Jesus, and His great love for us. It is all about Him.

Having a Moment

Okay, I am having a bit of a bah-humbug moment. You see, I asked my wonderful husband to put lights up this year. Actually, I ask him every year and well, my request has finally been granted.

Xee spent a good chunk of time yesterday hanging icicle lights around the front of our home and to his dismay, when he went to plug them in he realized that he had goofed up somewhere along the way and ended up with a female end of the plug...can't plug that into the outlet. So off he goes to fix it. He switches a few strands around and voila-lights! At least for a few seconds. They are bright and beautiful and Phoebe is in awe and THEN... darkness. What?

Alright, time for Xee to investigate. He moves his ladder along, plugging each individual strand into the extension cord and concludes that it is the last set that must be faulty. Today we run over to K-Mart (c'mon people...TARGET isn't open yet) and exchange the strand for a new one. Off we go to run some more errands and then home to fix the lights. And Xee is up on the ladder once more. Hang the new lights, plug them all in AND yes! Lights are working. So I think. A few minutes later I run out to grab the mail-that's it. I give up! What is with these lights?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Gymboree class is so much fun!

Mmmm..blueberries.

Our resident dishwasher...

Sometimes works in the nude!

Is there a doctor in the house?

"Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands!

Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before

His presence with singing. Know that the Lord,

He is God; It is He who has made us, and

not we ourselves; We are His people

and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,

and into His courts with praise.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting,

And His truth edures to all generations."

Psalm 100

Conversations with Phoebe

Recently we have started keeping a journal of things Phoebe says. I am writing more and more down because I just don't want to forget some of the silly things she comes up with. Kids are so amazing. We marvel at the development we are witnessing and sometimes I feel like I am waking up to a whole new kid each and every day. It is one of the coolest things to be able to have conversations with this amazing little girl who, inspite of my efforts, is proving more and more that she is no longer a baby. Here is a funny little exerpt from our conversation yesterday morning.

"Good mowning Mommy."

"Good morning."

"Where my Daddy go?"

"Daddy's on a trip, rememer? He is in a place called Arizona."

"I miss him."

"Me too." (a few seconds pass)

"Where my Daddy go?"

"He's in Arizona, honey."

"Oh, Awisona. I yike it so much." (pause) "Where Ty Ty? "

"He's in California."

"No my Califownia."

"Well, we can share California."

"No, mine!"

Eeew!

Here is a picture of Phoebe when she was much smaller, riding her airplane. This toy has been retired for months but today I pulled it out for a younger playmate. After our little friend left, Phoebe decided to ride the plane around the house. Of course, being a bit too big for it, she had a little crash. The plane tumbled over and the seat (which is also a storage compartment) flew open. She was fine. I was writing an email at the time and I glanced up to find her eating a snack that I did not give her. So I asked her where she got it. She said, "in the airplane." What? I snatch away the snack. Okay, time to check this out. Inside the compartment of this little plane I also found a toy and a sippy cup, which I recognized as belonging to a friend of hers. Again, this thing has not been played with for many months!! I unscrewed the top of this cup to find a nice little science experiment growing inside. Disgusting! Hey, we try our best but sometimes we moms miss a few things. Nice hiding place guys!

Sunbathing

Okay, lately I have been missing the fall. It is my favorite time of year. Crispy mornings and chilly evenings...not too hot, not too cold. But I must say that one of the perks of living in Hawaii is the consistently gorgeous weather-great for hangin' out at the pool any time of the year.

What a LIFE!!

Just another day soaking up the sun.

Phoebe and Gwynn-adorable girls!

Oh My Heart!

Today I took Phoebe out to ride her trike and we stopped to run around in a grassy area near our home. We played Ring Around the Rosie and chased one another. As we were having lots of fun she said, "Two friends. Phoebe and Mama." We continued our play time and then she ran over to me, wrapped her little arms around my leg and said, "My best friend." Oh how I love that little girl!

Cute Pics

Here's a peek at our recent trip to Orange County. Lots of fun!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Learning and Growing

The other night I was preparing dinner and I cut myself chopping some ginger. I said, "OUCH. Aaah man. I can't believe I just did that." I went into the bathroom to put a band-aid on it. Phoebe followed behind me. She looked up at me with compassion and she said, "Sowwy Mama, cut yoself...sowwy." I was so touched by her tenderness. A couple days later I was doing something and Phoebe looked over with concern and said, "Mama, be careful!" It is moments like this that keep me going as a parent. It fuels me to know that by the grace of God, we are doing something right. Thank you Lord for helping us to help Phoebe grow into the person You want her to be. What a privilege.

Of course Phoebe is two and there is still much to be learned...like self-control. We were at Nordstrom yesterday waiting for Daddy to finish with an eye appointment. I know. Good excuse. Anyway, we had been in the car a while and it was time for a potty stop. She had no interest, but to avoid an accident (me, not her...I really had to pee), I insisted we go NOW. Oh boy. Never interrupt the girl while she is looking at a purse! I practically dragged her to the bathroom, where she continued to loudly protest my request. As I restrained her by the arm to keep her from opening the stall and exposing me, she thought it best to let me know how she felt about the situation. In true toddler fashion, she began screaming at the top of her voice, "My boss...My boss...My boss!!!" I could have totally lost it and let her know exactly who is the boss. Somehow I managed to calmly explain that God is our boss and this behavior is not pleasing to Him. An instant answer to my prayer at the moment: "Lord Jesus, help me not to strangle her!" How's that for self-control? Ha ha ha. What can I say? She's two! And we are BOTH still learning!!!

Down For the Count

What is it that people say, "I feel like I've been run over by a truck"? Well, the truck ran me over and then backed up to run me over again! I haven't been this sick in a long time. Travelling is always risky business for the immune system, I suppose. I am in the last stages of this horrible bug that I somehow acquired shortly after our return from our recent trip to the mainland. It was worth it. We had lots of fun. But here I am, with my raspy voice and my horribly chapped nose, popping over-the-counter drugs and sucking on a throat lozenge. And if you know me well, you know it is a desperate situation if I am popping pills. I tried a bunch, but I have to say that Mucinex is good stuff. What is it with those bizarre commercials anyway? As a mom I strongly feel that we should be exempt from the whole sick thing. No mommy should have to function this way. At least I have a little comic relief. Phoebe's walking around pretending to hack something up in her throat and then spits in a cup or the toilet. It is lovely. And we can now say that she learned this one from her mother!!!

Happy Poo-Poo!

I started the whole potty training thing a while back when Phoebe started pulling her pants down every time I went to the bathroom. She wants to be like Mama. She also has playmates who are ten months or so older than her, so she had witnessed them embarking on this journey as well. Several months into her making the occasional deposit into the little potty (at her leisure of course) I decided it was time to really do this thing. We gave her lots of naked time at home and even with a couple of dreaded (but not unexpected) accidents, it has been a fairly smooth experience. Realizing that I did not want her to expect cookies every time she used her potty, I made her a little potty star chart. It has turned out to be a great little confidence booster and a fun thing to do while taking care of business.

I ran out of star stickers a while back and Daddy volunteered to pick some up while running an errand. Phoebe was thrilled when he came back with not only those beautiful shiny stars, but some smiley faces to boot. In a brilliant mommy moment, I suddenly declared that these happy faces would be given for going poo-poo in the potty. Friends, that sealed the deal. Within a day or so Phoebe had received her coveted reward and I could not have been prouder. Before I could even think to wipe her little bottom...she announces, "Happy Poo-Poo!" And thus the phrase was born.

Now Phoebe is fully potty trained at home and is making lots of progress while on the go with increasing visits to public restrooms...eeew! Thank goodness for instant hand sanitizer...and btw my new favorite is a spray by Clean Well. It makes my list of favorite things because it is all natural! Check it out at www.cleanwelltoday.com. Anyway, we are thankful for our little potty and are sad to say that we will soon bid it farewell...as our daughter is insisting more and more that she use the big potty. As she would say, "Bebe big now". And so we pay tribute to our little potty, and to big boys and big girls everywhere, we wish you a happy poo-poo!

July is almost over and I told myself that I would try to post at least once a month on our blog. So here goes. What are we up to? Living our lives. Xee goes to work and then enjoys our family days at the beach or hanging out at home. He especially loves taking Phoebe for rides on the boogey board. Phoebe and I have been doing our usual...playing at home, going for walks, trips to the grocery store, chores around the house, bathtime, reading books, etc...exciting. Well, there is a lot of encouraging and teaching and disciplining that gets woven into all of these daily activities. As it turns out, it can be quite exhausting!

So if you ever ask me what I do, you might get the following response. I am a teacher, a driver, a short-order cook and occasional chef, a housekeeper, a motivational speaker, a linguist, an interpreter, a nurse, a dancer, an actress, an improv specialist, a storyteller, a correctional officer, and a referee. I am in the business of hugging, kissing, hurrying, scurrying, scooting, shewing, oohing and aahing. The more daunting tasks include threatening, disciplining, and yes, hazardous waste removal. I am a MOM!

I once met a lady at the airport who said it best when quoting her own daughter's words, "having a toddler is like starting up a blender...without the lid"! That cracks me up. Though it is not complete chaos in our home all of the time, the possibility AND probability of an explosion of some sort sits just below the surface of any given moment. And we wouldn't trade it for anything! Because along with it comes a ton of fun and the sheer joy of getting to experience every little step in our child's development. Is there anything cooler than that? Not to say that I don't need a break once in a while! Serenity now!! And thanks to my wonderful husband (of eight years now...yahoo) I do get the chance for some much needed time for myself. On his days off, I sleep in just a little bit longer while he and Phoebe go to the lagoons for a morning swim. It is strangely sweet to start my day in such a peaceful way. And how does the day end? It varies, with Xee and I usually ending up on the couch to relax in front of the T.V. and then reluctantly heading off to bed. But one thing remains the same. We are content. We are loved. We are blessed! God is so good!