March 21, 2011
March 15, 2011
Belated Birthday Wish
I was thinking the other day, about my Dad, and how I had kind of hoped the baby would be born on his birthday. It's not that I was so much looking for a sign, although maybe I was, but it was a fun thing to imagine something so special. Oh, the smile my dad would have had on his face. I've always loved my dad very much, yet I never had enough of his presence in my life to ever truly feel that close to him. In his last few days in the hospital, I felt that closeness...then suddenly he was gone.
Funny thing...Dad wasn't the best at remembering birthdays. He tried. My parents were divorced when I was young, and he worked a LOT. I didn't see him that often, but he usually showed up bearing gifts-his way of trying to make up for that, I suppose. He worked so hard all his life to make up for the mistakes he had made. And also, I think in part, as a punishment for himself.
As a kid, holidays were the one time I knew I would spend time with my dad. He would show up with gifts or candy, or money. But birthdays? Well, he had a hard time with birthdays. He would often call a couple days later, apologizing for forgetting. He was forever guessing our ages, poor guy had a hard time keeping up with how fast we were growing up. Once or twice I recall a card actually arriving early. He was determined to get that birthday thing right.
In the last, very uncomfortable weeks of my pregnancy, I was waiting and waiting for Ezra to arrive, and as with Phoebe, I didn't progress. The 25th of January rolled around and I was having such intense pain that I thought it might actually happen. It just HAD to happen soon. When the boy did not arrive on his own, I threw in the towel and had him "removed" the following night. One day after Dad's birthday. Maybe not a sign...but instead a wink to my Dad. A belated birthday gift. When I listen carefully, I am quite sure I hear him chuckle.
Happy Birthday Dad!
Funny thing...Dad wasn't the best at remembering birthdays. He tried. My parents were divorced when I was young, and he worked a LOT. I didn't see him that often, but he usually showed up bearing gifts-his way of trying to make up for that, I suppose. He worked so hard all his life to make up for the mistakes he had made. And also, I think in part, as a punishment for himself.
As a kid, holidays were the one time I knew I would spend time with my dad. He would show up with gifts or candy, or money. But birthdays? Well, he had a hard time with birthdays. He would often call a couple days later, apologizing for forgetting. He was forever guessing our ages, poor guy had a hard time keeping up with how fast we were growing up. Once or twice I recall a card actually arriving early. He was determined to get that birthday thing right.
In the last, very uncomfortable weeks of my pregnancy, I was waiting and waiting for Ezra to arrive, and as with Phoebe, I didn't progress. The 25th of January rolled around and I was having such intense pain that I thought it might actually happen. It just HAD to happen soon. When the boy did not arrive on his own, I threw in the towel and had him "removed" the following night. One day after Dad's birthday. Maybe not a sign...but instead a wink to my Dad. A belated birthday gift. When I listen carefully, I am quite sure I hear him chuckle.
Happy Birthday Dad!
March 7, 2011
Pretty Woman
Well, we are officially knee-deep in dirty diapers and laundry, but loving every minute of it. Okay, almost every minute. I suppose I could do without the laundry. My eyes are a bit droopy, but I am savoring each moment with Baby Ezra, knowing just how fast it all goes.
I have to say that I am incredibly proud of our Big Sissy Phoebe. Things have been shaken up around here quite a bit and she has risen to the occasion. She loves to help change diapers, snuggle up next to Ezra, take pictures of him, and even helped out with his first real bath. She absolutely adores her brother. In her own words, "I am just so in love with him....I am so in love with him that I want to be married with him!" (She also wants to marry her daddy.)
This is an exciting time for us all, and a time of transition for sure. I would not be telling the truth if I said we have not had any feelings of frustration or jealousy around here...and we would then be a total anomaly amongst families everywhere. It is all too normal to feel a bit left out and neglected when a new person arrives (especially after over 4 years of being the center of the universe). And though I often write silly stories for your sheer amusement, this blog is truly more for us. It's a chronicle of our lives, and well, it wouldn't be complete if I didn't share all the details. After all, I want to look back and remember everything-whether it's good, bad...or ugly.
While I was pregnant, we anticipated how our lives would change with a new addition. We knew there would be excitement and joy, diapers and spit-up, and we were not naive to think we would not have a bit of "interesting" challenges with the adjustment. You just never know exactly what to expect, but there are a few things we didn't see comin'. "Like what?," you ask? Well, there's the vomiting, for instance. Not Ezra...Phoebe.
The first time it happened was in the hospital, the night Baby arrived. There was a lot of action going on, with me in a hospital bed, and Baby about to FINALLY arrive, and it being way past the bedtime. As Daddy tells me, it happened on the ride home (poor Daddy) while I was still in recovery. Phoebe complained that the car smelled like throw-up for days. I chided with Daddy that he shouldn't have let her have that chili from the hospital cafeteria, but still I wondered if it wasn't more than that....
With two more random incidents in the days to follow, and no other signs of illness, we realized that it was anxiety-induced vomit. Didn't see that comin'. Three times in a very short span. Poor thing. She was just so overwhelmed with it all. We all spent several days wondering if or when it might happen again, but thankfully the third was the last...so far. We kept a bucket near her bed and she slept on a towel for about a week, just in case. Just another jewel in our parenting crowns.
So a little throw-up isn't so bad, huh? How about a little bit of a yucky attitude? To be expected too. Yep, more than vomit has spewed out of our darling Phoebe's mouth in the last month. As kiddos go, there are always surprises around the corner, and my Phoebe has not disappointed in that department. I will highlight a couple of strange things she has said here. After all, she might want to hear about these gems in the future. At least, I will likely want to remind her of them if or when she ever has children of her own...it's my duty, is it not?
A couple weeks ago, we were hanging out in her room while Ezra slept. We had been doing school and an art project, just having a good time. Then I reminded her that she needed to tidy up her room. Now, Phoebe is a great little helper. She loves chores...she likes to dust, do dishes, and is always asking if she can mop the floors. But cleaning up her toys? Not so much. But, she had promised it would be done that morning, and I was going to hold her to it.
Her response to my making her clean should have given me a good laugh...but instead it made me cry (darn those hormones!). She paused her not-so-valiant cleaning effort to say, "Sometimes (long pause), I think of you...kind of like Cinderella's stepmother."
"WHAT!!!??"
At first I just stare at her and wonder where this came from since we don't own any Disney movies. And then....then I see the wry smile on her face and realize she meant it as a joke and like I said, it should have given me a really good laugh (which it very much does now), but now I feel the burning hot, hormonal tears stinging my eyes. I spin on on my heels in dramatic fashion, head to the bathroom, where I proceed to sob uncontrollably for a minute or two, then gather myself and get back in there to "encourage" the cleaning business. I feel a bit like Claire Huxtable as I growl under my breath, "You wanna see mean...I'll show you mean. You've never seen mean. Stepmother, hmph! After all I do for you..."
A few days later, Phoebe and I were watching a show together on the Food Network. She loves cooking shows, especially what she calls "cake shows". A commercial came on and I paused the TV (gotta love the DVR), as we do not like to watch commercials around here. Once again, I am enjoying some lovely time alone with my wonderful daughter and I don't expect the following curve ball....
The commercial was a cosmetics ad featuring Julia Roberts. I just happened to pause it on a close-up of her face. Phoebe said, "Ooh, she's pretty."
"Yes, she is," I replied.
"Prettier than YOU are."
Huh?
(What, with my milk-soiled night dress and my disheveled hair, puffy eyes, saggy belly, and not-so-fresh armpits? I stare at the screen at Julia and think maybe I need to include the word "airbrushed" in our vocabulary list this week.)
....A bit stunned, I pause for what seems like forever. Then I turn and look at her and even she looks a bit confused and bewildered by what just came out of her mouth. She quickly tries to recover by saying, "I was just...I mean...I just was saying that she is pretty, Mommy." (Now, if you know my Phoebe, you know that this girl showers me with compliments every day and is quite gracious to everyone around her, so this was quite uncharacteristic of her.)
This time I didn't cry. I did, however, take the opportunity for what I like to call a "teaching moment". Though I was laughing inside, I knew that this little jab at Mommy was coming from someplace deep inside her, with a whole heap of emotions at the root. Ah, human nature is so clearly displayed in a child. They are raw and transparent and yet, mysteriously complicated little creatures. They are human.
Later I privately shared this little nugget with Daddy and his eyes got wide, then he laughed, of course. Then he said, "I don't think Julia Roberts is that pretty. I don't know why she is such a big deal."
"Thanks, Honey."
"No, really. I just don't think she's all that great."
"I know. She's not me."
"Exactly...she's not you."
What a guy.
The next day Phoebe and I were baking cookies and she said that no other mommy makes the goodest cookies as I do. And she added, "You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world...You are the bestest mommy in the whole universe."
Well, there you have it folks. In the eyes that matter, I am, in fact, prettier than Julia Roberts.
I have to say that I am incredibly proud of our Big Sissy Phoebe. Things have been shaken up around here quite a bit and she has risen to the occasion. She loves to help change diapers, snuggle up next to Ezra, take pictures of him, and even helped out with his first real bath. She absolutely adores her brother. In her own words, "I am just so in love with him....I am so in love with him that I want to be married with him!" (She also wants to marry her daddy.)
This is an exciting time for us all, and a time of transition for sure. I would not be telling the truth if I said we have not had any feelings of frustration or jealousy around here...and we would then be a total anomaly amongst families everywhere. It is all too normal to feel a bit left out and neglected when a new person arrives (especially after over 4 years of being the center of the universe). And though I often write silly stories for your sheer amusement, this blog is truly more for us. It's a chronicle of our lives, and well, it wouldn't be complete if I didn't share all the details. After all, I want to look back and remember everything-whether it's good, bad...or ugly.
While I was pregnant, we anticipated how our lives would change with a new addition. We knew there would be excitement and joy, diapers and spit-up, and we were not naive to think we would not have a bit of "interesting" challenges with the adjustment. You just never know exactly what to expect, but there are a few things we didn't see comin'. "Like what?," you ask? Well, there's the vomiting, for instance. Not Ezra...Phoebe.
The first time it happened was in the hospital, the night Baby arrived. There was a lot of action going on, with me in a hospital bed, and Baby about to FINALLY arrive, and it being way past the bedtime. As Daddy tells me, it happened on the ride home (poor Daddy) while I was still in recovery. Phoebe complained that the car smelled like throw-up for days. I chided with Daddy that he shouldn't have let her have that chili from the hospital cafeteria, but still I wondered if it wasn't more than that....
With two more random incidents in the days to follow, and no other signs of illness, we realized that it was anxiety-induced vomit. Didn't see that comin'. Three times in a very short span. Poor thing. She was just so overwhelmed with it all. We all spent several days wondering if or when it might happen again, but thankfully the third was the last...so far. We kept a bucket near her bed and she slept on a towel for about a week, just in case. Just another jewel in our parenting crowns.
So a little throw-up isn't so bad, huh? How about a little bit of a yucky attitude? To be expected too. Yep, more than vomit has spewed out of our darling Phoebe's mouth in the last month. As kiddos go, there are always surprises around the corner, and my Phoebe has not disappointed in that department. I will highlight a couple of strange things she has said here. After all, she might want to hear about these gems in the future. At least, I will likely want to remind her of them if or when she ever has children of her own...it's my duty, is it not?
A couple weeks ago, we were hanging out in her room while Ezra slept. We had been doing school and an art project, just having a good time. Then I reminded her that she needed to tidy up her room. Now, Phoebe is a great little helper. She loves chores...she likes to dust, do dishes, and is always asking if she can mop the floors. But cleaning up her toys? Not so much. But, she had promised it would be done that morning, and I was going to hold her to it.
Her response to my making her clean should have given me a good laugh...but instead it made me cry (darn those hormones!). She paused her not-so-valiant cleaning effort to say, "Sometimes (long pause), I think of you...kind of like Cinderella's stepmother."
"WHAT!!!??"
At first I just stare at her and wonder where this came from since we don't own any Disney movies. And then....then I see the wry smile on her face and realize she meant it as a joke and like I said, it should have given me a really good laugh (which it very much does now), but now I feel the burning hot, hormonal tears stinging my eyes. I spin on on my heels in dramatic fashion, head to the bathroom, where I proceed to sob uncontrollably for a minute or two, then gather myself and get back in there to "encourage" the cleaning business. I feel a bit like Claire Huxtable as I growl under my breath, "You wanna see mean...I'll show you mean. You've never seen mean. Stepmother, hmph! After all I do for you..."
A few days later, Phoebe and I were watching a show together on the Food Network. She loves cooking shows, especially what she calls "cake shows". A commercial came on and I paused the TV (gotta love the DVR), as we do not like to watch commercials around here. Once again, I am enjoying some lovely time alone with my wonderful daughter and I don't expect the following curve ball....
The commercial was a cosmetics ad featuring Julia Roberts. I just happened to pause it on a close-up of her face. Phoebe said, "Ooh, she's pretty."
"Yes, she is," I replied.
"Prettier than YOU are."
Huh?
(What, with my milk-soiled night dress and my disheveled hair, puffy eyes, saggy belly, and not-so-fresh armpits? I stare at the screen at Julia and think maybe I need to include the word "airbrushed" in our vocabulary list this week.)
....A bit stunned, I pause for what seems like forever. Then I turn and look at her and even she looks a bit confused and bewildered by what just came out of her mouth. She quickly tries to recover by saying, "I was just...I mean...I just was saying that she is pretty, Mommy." (Now, if you know my Phoebe, you know that this girl showers me with compliments every day and is quite gracious to everyone around her, so this was quite uncharacteristic of her.)
This time I didn't cry. I did, however, take the opportunity for what I like to call a "teaching moment". Though I was laughing inside, I knew that this little jab at Mommy was coming from someplace deep inside her, with a whole heap of emotions at the root. Ah, human nature is so clearly displayed in a child. They are raw and transparent and yet, mysteriously complicated little creatures. They are human.
Later I privately shared this little nugget with Daddy and his eyes got wide, then he laughed, of course. Then he said, "I don't think Julia Roberts is that pretty. I don't know why she is such a big deal."
"Thanks, Honey."
"No, really. I just don't think she's all that great."
"I know. She's not me."
"Exactly...she's not you."
What a guy.
The next day Phoebe and I were baking cookies and she said that no other mommy makes the goodest cookies as I do. And she added, "You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world...You are the bestest mommy in the whole universe."
Well, there you have it folks. In the eyes that matter, I am, in fact, prettier than Julia Roberts.
March 4, 2011
Magical Moment of the Day
This magical moment of the day happened at about 3 o'clock this morning, while nursing my hungry baby with my eyes half-shut and my head bobbing off to one side. Ezra was eating ever so ravishingly (is that a word?). When he was done, he was a bit fussy so I began to burp him. Suddenly he let out a giant belch, then spit up down the front of both our jammies. As I was cleaning him up, I sweetly said, "I'm sorry buddy." He opened his eyes wide, looked straight into mine, and giggled with a HUGE grin on his face as if to say, "No problem, Mom!" Then he closed his eyes and went right back to sleep.
P.S. My dear friend sent this to me in an email and I thought it was worth sharing here. We go through the trenches as parents. It's all worth it...
11 Step Program For Those Thinking of Having Kids by Amy Lawrence
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
P.S. My dear friend sent this to me in an email and I thought it was worth sharing here. We go through the trenches as parents. It's all worth it...
11 Step Program For Those Thinking of Having Kids by Amy Lawrence
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
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