Mama

Tonight, as I was finishing dinner by myself (a rare thing around here), I was suddenly reminded of the significance of the role I have as Mommy. This is how it went. Phoebe was so excited to see her daddy when he arrived home from work that she insisted on going with him to play basketball. I reluctantly said "yes", as it was dinner time, and I knew it might disrupt her bedtime routine. But...she misses her daddy so when he's at work, so I sent her off with a snack.

While they were gone, I took a relaxing, hot bath, caught up with some friends on facebook, then had a nice, quiet dinner. Alone. I was just clearing my plate when someone burst through the front door, sobbing uncontrollably, running in my direction. "Honey, what's wrong?", I ask. "What happened? Are you okay?" She just continued to sob and sniffle, and gasp for breaths in between (you know how kids do). She simply pointed her finger at me and all she could utter was , "You!"

"Me?"

"I...sniffle, sob, sob....I...sniffle, sniffle, need.....You."

"Okay", I said and she laid down on my lap and I stroked her hair.

"I....sniffle, sob, sniffle, sob....need....to blow my.....sniffle....nose."

We went into the bathroom to get a tissue. I tried to probe her with more questions, thinking something must have happened. And well, according to Daddy, she did get a little reprimand for almost running over a smaller child with a toy on wheels....but that didn't seem to phase her when I brought it up. She didn't seem upset, or embarrassed, or sad. She could only reiterate, "I...sniff, sniff, need You. I'm crying for You."

I tried to offer dinner options, insisting she needed dinner before bed. I even offered a popsicle. She didn't flinch. Just snuggled back onto my lap and looked at me with those big brown eyes, her favorite sucky- fingers in her mouth, closed her eyes, and let out a big sigh. She was right where she needed to be.

Sometimes in this life, and in this world, you just need your mama. When you are just feeling "done" for the day, totally exhausted and overwhelmed, there is no one like Mama. No substitute will do.

I remember back when was in college, I had days that totally overwhelmed me. When the weight of life, and all that was happening around me seemed like just too much to bear, I would grab the phone in the middle of the night, and dial home. A sleepy voice would answer without fail. Without hesitation, she was always there. Mom.

I was in that place a few days ago. I woke up in the middle of the night in horrible pain. Another migraine. My third this month! I came downstairs to ice my neck....and the first thing I thought about was picking up that phone...and calling my Mama. (Actually, it was my second thought. First, I was wishing that pregnant ladies were allowed to take a Valium.) I looked at the clock and knew she would be awake. Maybe I hesitated because she would be getting ready for work.

I didn't make that call. I wish I had. It would not have taken away the pain. But I know I would have felt better. Just hearing her voice, feeling her support as she offered her words of comfort, her prayers over me. There is nothing on this planet like the love of a mother.

Sometimes that overwhelming need and desire for me as a mom can be difficult to carry. But not tonight. Tonight there was nowhere I would rather be than in that moment with my daughter. The calm that came over her, the hush, the peace. To be the only one she had eyes for, the balm she needed to soothe it all away.

Mama.

There is no one like Mama.