Unexpected Potty Breaks

Ah, a nice relaxing day at the beach. You sit and relax, take a dip in the ocean, and have a picnic lunch. You're watching the the waves and reading a nice book. And then your three-year-old suddenly announces, "I NEED TO GO POO-POO!"

You glance back at the nearest public restroom and resolve, "No way!" You shuffle your little one out to the parking lot, and take a quick little golf cart ride around the corner to the Marriott resort. You jump off the cart. You are both running, and she says, "Mommy, I can't hold my poo-poo..."

You are mumbling something under your breath and then you suddenly find yourself shouting it out loud, while looking directly at her tight little face as she runs..."Don't you dare poop your pants. I DO NOT want to clean that up!" You keep running and flashbacks of your earlier potty-training days are now running through your head. And you're surprised because your child has been trained for well over a year and is quite proficient at all of this...and should know by now that she must let you know as soon as she gets "the feeling".

So you've scooped her up by the armpits and thrown her on your hip, determined to get to that potty NOW. You are panicking a little because you're remembering that one "incident" at Target several months ago....

(Oh, I never told you all about the incident? Some of you may remember receiving a text message with a picture I snapped with my phone...I had gone in with Phoebe to grab just one item. Just one!

Well okay, Target had just arrived to the island and I may have gotten a little distracted.

Apparently, so did she. She had been potty-trained for about a year, so there were no worries about accidents in my mind...

Well, put a girl in Target and her eyes light up, the world is at her fingertips. She gets too busy exploring the gloriously colorful, beautiful toy aisles and neglects to tell her mommy about "the feeling" until it is just TOO LATE! She is running down the aisle, holding her bottom and well, I just have to say, thank God for the family restroom!! You know, the private one designed with kids in mind, for such a time as this.

We run in and I am thinking we've made it just in time...until Phoebe grimaces and says, "Yucky, mommy!" I look down at the poop on her shoe and realize it must have come from the poop on her leg...which of course, came from the poop in her pants!

Eeew. I was in a state of shock because I thought I had dodged this scenario. I mean, her first public poop accident and it happens a year after she's been in panties. Hunh?! After sanitizing the child and the restroom floor to the best of my ability, I realize I've gotten lax about keeping extra clothes in the car. Do I take her to the car and head home? Do I just buy her an outfit and continue with my shopping? Well, we are already here and I really want to just buy that one thing already. So I put the stark-naked girl on my hip and head back into the store.

Now, the plan is to nab an outfit for her, grab the item, pay for it, and go. Easy enough. Yet, the fiery little munchkin had another agenda, as soon as the corner of her little eye caught the glitz and gleam of....the accessory department. She pushes her way out of my arms and now people are starting to notice this totally naked child, minus the shoes....because in a matter of seconds, despite my efforts to catch the little bugger...she is donning several necklaces, a hat, and a sparkly purse!

Am I mortified? Embarrassed? I don't know. I am laughing out loud and rummaging my purse for my phone, lest I miss the chance to document the whole thing. I eventually bought the item we came for. I never got around to clothing the child. We got lots of stares and giggles, and a few tisk-tisk-like shake of the head (give me a break!), but I resolved that it was not anywhere near as bad as the nightmares I've had, where I am the one naked in a store. Nope, not so bad. Just another notch on my glamorous, golden belt of motherhood.

Yes, okay. Right. Back to the present time....

You burst through the doors while simultaneously grasping to get her swimsuit off. She's looking at you like you're a crazy lady. You frantically get a seat cover positioned, throw her on the seat and...phew! You made it!

You wait. Two seconds later she says, "All done."

"What? You said you needed to go poo-poo."

"Nope. Just pee-pee."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh huh."

Big sigh from you.

She shrugs her shoulders and giggles, "Oops...Guess I just had a big toot!"

Ah, yes. A relaxing day. In a matter of seconds you went from gloriously basking in the sun, to dripping with sweat. You look out at the beautiful blue ocean and decide that it is the perfect time to take a dip.

And so you do.