You Know You're Near the End When...

You're down to your last three outfits!

Your four-year-old has to beg you to get out of bed in the morning.

Your ice cream supply has completely taken over the freezer.

Everywhere you go, heads turn and eyes grow wide at the sight of the watermelon-sized protrusion leading the way!

Lightening-like nerve pains in your sciatic area, inner thigh, and...ahem...unmentional places have become quite a regular occurrence.

Your husband cannot keep his eyes off your bosom area.

You're now wearing your "fake" wedding ring because the real one doesn't fit.

Regular exercise means a trip up and down the stairs.

You are SO over people's "observations" of your appearance...

I am not a science experiment! This is not a tumor or a growth, nor is it a rare condition in our society, yet I wonder if people just cannot help themselves...and in their awe-struck state over this incredibly natural phenomenon called pregnancy, they MUST say something...usually the first thing that comes to mind just flies right out of the mouth. Seriously, I think I might have to have a few responses printed on a T-shirt:

• Yes, I know that I am "ALL BABY".
• You're right ladies, I am lucky that I am not "carrying it all in my butt".
• No, I did not steal your basketball.
• Yep, aunties and grandmas, give yourself a pat on the back...you guessed right-it's a boy. But I carried Phoebe all out in front too and she is definitely a girl.
• I am not a balloon, so please don't tell me I look like I'm about to POP!
• I AM sure there's not two in there! Men, please...learn something today. Do not ask a woman if she's sure she's not having twins. C'mon now, I am only 5 foot, 2 and a half inches tall, and I have a petite frame. Where on earth does a full-grown baby go in a person of my size? There is a 17-20 inch person curled up in there along with my bladder, my intestines, and all sorts of other stuff shoved off to the sides. AND women who are this far a long with twins are not shopping at Ross. They either in BED or the hospital!
• "WOW" is right! Wow, there is a miracle in my belly! Wow, a person is growing in there! Wow, isn't that wonderful and amazing, and incredible??

Okay, so all of that would not quite fit on even the largest of T-shirts, but I think you get the picture. That is not to negate all of the wonderful things people have said on a daily basis, like "You look amazing!", "You've barely gained any weight!", "You are stunning!", "Pregnancy looks great on you.", "You are the most gorgeous pregnant woman I've ever seen!"...

They are so right! Pregnancy is beautiful. All pregnant ladies are beautiful. If you are reading this and you are with child, you are beautiful! You are housing God's creation. Rejoice in the handiwork of the Lord!

Am I mad? No. Not in the least. This is just me observing the human behavior around me. I have enjoyed every minute of being pregnant (both times). It is a miraculous thing, housing a baby. I think when you are nearing the end, you cannot help but feel that you are a walking anomaly. I mean, people have witnesses this for thousands of years, yet it still stops them in their tracks. Who isn't impressed with the whole deal? Incredible. But, it is sort of nice to have someone just say "hello". That's all I'm saying.

If you see me walking down the street, just say "hello".